Category: Not So Busy

I think sometimes our busyness comes from a lack of satisfaction. We look around our living room (after looking at a bunch of living rooms in a fancy magazine or online), and we feel like it’s just not right. Our coffee table is scratched. We don’t have trendy pillow covers, and our rug has one stain too many. We feel the need for more, for something better. We spend a lot of time on the hunt for more. We busy ourselves with creating the perfect space.

Maybe it’s a different area of your life. Maybe you’re not satisfied with your activities’ calendar. Everyone else’s life looks like they are involved in so many great things…and they’re happy. You end up filling your weeks (and your child’s weeks) with non-stop activity in the hopes of filling that dissatisfied ache. You weren’t satisfied, you got busy, and wait, you’re still not content.

What if you started looking around your life, looking around your home, looking at the people in your life? What if you started looking around at all these things with a thankful heart, with a heart that is satisfied with what is before you?

Sometimes, at night, right before I go to bed (when the lighting is right and the main rooms of my house are tidy), I smile big. I’m so happy and thankful…satisfied. Later, just 12 hours later, my people are up and those same rooms, that same house looks, well, it doesn’t look as neat and tidy and lovely as it did the night before. I become a little grumpy, a little discontent…a little dissatisfied. If only my living room was a little larger, my rug a little newer, my kids a little less messy. How quickly our view point can change. How easily we can allow our thoughts and hearts to move us to that place of discontentment and dissatisfaction.

At this point in the year we take intentional time to pause and be thankful. Are you satisfied with what you have right now? Can you rest (and be just a little less busy) knowing that there are so many amazing gifts all around you? Can you be thankful for what you have and let go of the (often present) need for more?

May this Thanksgiving find you with a heart of gratitude, a heart that is satisfied with where you are and what you have.

What about you? Are you satisfied and thankful this season?

Until next time,

Charissa

I have struggled with procrastination for many years. I can’t say that I procrastinate in all areas of life, but I do find that if I am feeling a bit overwhelmed or anxious about a task I don’t jump to complete it quickly. I want to break free from this tendency, so I have started asking myself one simple question that has helped me become less of a procrastinator. The simple question I ask is: “Will this task be easier 1 day/1 week/1 month from now?”

If I have to make a doctor’s appointment (and let me tell you, I hate to make phone calls) I ask myself, “Will this phone call be any easier a day from now?” If I have to complete paperwork I ask myself, “Will completing these forms be any easier a week from now?” If I have to clean out and organize my closet I ask, “Will this project be any easier a month from now?”

And you guessed it, the answer to this very simple question is almost always, “No!” No, waiting a day to make a phone call will not make it any easier. No, letting the paperwork sit one more week will not make it any easier. No, ignoring a messy closet for a month will not make cleaning it any easier.

When I ask myself this simple question and (always) arrive at a “no”, it pushes me to move forward with whatever (sometimes dreaded) task is before me. This is not an earth-shattering solution to the common problem of procrastination, but I have found it to be a help to me. I hope it can be a help to you, too!

What about you? Are you a procrastinator? Have you found ways to be less of a procrastinator?

Until next time,

Charissa

It might be normal to come to the conclusion that if someone is embracing the not so busy life that she is spending a lot of her time doing a whole lot of nothing. A life spent (or not spent) doing a whole lot of nothing, though, is not the life of the not so busy mom. Although I don’t want to live a life marked by running around crazy busy, I do want to embrace this life and live this life with purpose. I have chosen to consider how I might let go of the busy and instead live a full life.

If you take a look at a typical week on my calendar you will see appointments, activities and other commitments. If you look in my notebook you will see to-do lists and cleaning schedules. I have things (and sometimes lots of things) going on in my life. I call it a full life. It’s a life that is lived with intention. It’s a life that I don’t want to waste. It’s a life in which and with which I want to honor God.

Perhaps you have recently wondered where all your time is going. Maybe you sign up for things or make commitments without much consideration. Perhaps you have a hard time saying “no” to people. Perhaps your car time far outweighs your home time. Maybe you’re doing certain things because you think that’s just what everyone else does. Maybe you just want to be done with all the crazy busy.

I would invite you to start evaluating your commitments and activities. Now is the time to start considering what areas of your life are too busy and might need a bit of a makeover. Living a full life without the busy can begin now and continue to be a pattern moving forward.

What about you? Are you looking for ways to live a full life without the busy?

Until next time,

Charissa

Perhaps you are ready to move past a lot of the busy in your life. Maybe you’re tired of running here, there and everywhere, tired of squeezing in just one more thing, tired of feeling like you have to do it all; maybe you’re just plain tired. Life doesn’t have to be (and I don’t believe it needs to be) about being busy. As you consider letting go of the busy life and embracing the full life, reflect on and implement some of the traits and habits of the not so busy mom.

1. The not so busy mom lets go of perfection.

Perfection in this world is unattainable, but how often do we beat ourselves up because we didn’t perform or produce perfectly? I think we do it far too often. Letting go of perfection and allowing ourselves to simply do our best or maybe even fail is good, normal and human. It’s important to put forth our best effort, to make progress, to set goals, to climb those high mountains. It’s even more important to realize that our worth is not tied up in what we do. The not so busy mom knows that striving for perfection will just add to the craziness and the busyness. The not so busy mom lets go of perfection.

2. The not so busy mom lets go of the need to impress.

We can easily get caught up trying to impress those around us. This desire to impress can eat at us and consume us. We want our extended family to be impressed with our Thanksgiving menu. We want our friends to be impressed with the cleanliness of our home. We want our neighbors to be impressed with our new pool. We want our Facebook friends to be impressed with our family vacations. It goes on and on. It is exhausting. The not so busy mom knows she can’t impress everyone all the time. The not so busy mom knows she shouldn’t try to or want to impress everyone all the time.

3. The not so busy mom considers her priorities.

When you have considered and named your priorities, you find that your schedule, activities and day to day choices begin to fall into place. So many things call to us begging for our time and energy. Some of these things are good. Some of these things are bad. Some may fall somewhere in between. The not so busy mom considers her priorities, so that her day is not full of the meaningless but the meaningful.

4. The not so busy mom plans ahead.

Hours can get away from us. Days can get away from us. Even weeks can get away from us. Planning ahead helps our hours, days and weeks run more smoothly. Planning ahead allows us to make time for people in the midst of the daily, mundane tasks. Planning ahead allows us to live a full life.

As you consider moving past the busy, see if these are 4 traits that you presently exhibit or perhaps they are traits you are looking to develop. The not so busy mom is so much more than these 4 traits, but this is a good starting point.

What about you? Are you exhibiting or developing any of these traits?

Until next time,
Charissa

Continue reading “4 Traits of the Not So Busy Mom”

There are plenty of difficult things (both big and small) in life, so I like to make things easier when I can. The other day I was pondering some of the things I do that make my life just a little easier. Here are 7 of them!

1. I wash my hair just 2 times a week. I find that I can get away with washing my hair just 2 times a week. My pattern tends to be wash, wear it pulled back a day or so, straighten it, use a little dry shampoo, and then wash again. I save time and money by just shampooing and conditioning twice a week.
2. I order my groceries online. Peapod is the service provided by Stop & Shop which allows customers to order groceries online and either pick up the ordered groceries or have them delivered. If you have a Stop & Shop in your area that provides the Peapod service you can use my link below to save $20 on your first order. http://peapod.extole.com/v2/share/6314317426887085773
3. I use my dryer as an iron. Overall, I tend to purchase clothes that don’t wrinkle easily, but if I do need to iron something, I choose the dryer over then iron. I put my outfit in the dryer on low heat for 1o minutes or so, and the clothes come out ready to wear. I can make my breakfast, take a shower, or do a quick clean up while my dryer does the work.
4. My kids ride the bus to and from school. There are many different reasons people choose to drop off and pick up their children at school. So far we have had positive bus experiences, so I choose to send my kids on the bus.  I don’t have to wait for long periods of time in a drop off or pick up line, and my kids enjoy being with their friends!
5. I menu plan. Menu planning before grocery shopping makes both the shopping and meal preparations much easier. I have been menu planning for many years, and I have found it to be very helpful in so many ways.  You can find my post about reasons for menu planning here.
6. I eat the same thing for lunch everyday. Eating the same thing for lunch everyday is a helpful way to make that time of the day much simpler.  During the school year my 3 year old eats before me, and I always serve her yogurt and fruit or a simple sandwich. I always eat a salad. I know what I’m going to have each day, and I look forward to my healthy lunch.
7. I assign chores for my children. My two oldest children have 3 chores that they need to complete each day. (My youngest tags along helping and learning as she goes.) Some chores need to be completed in the morning and some in the evening. I appreciate the help around the house and the skills they are developing. They appreciate the weekly allowance that comes with finishing their chores.

What about you? What do you do to make your life a little easier?

Until next time,
Charissa

Celebrating a child’s birthday is an important and special tradition, but parties can become stressful especially if you feel like you need to compete or keep up with the other parties you hear about or those your children attend. Perhaps your circle of friends is throwing elaborate and fancy first year birthday parties. Maybe your neighbor rented a tent and a pony last summer for her son’s fifth birthday. Maybe your child’s best friend had a huge party with a band to celebrate his 16th year. Whatever the circumstance, you can quickly feel the pressure to throw the birthday of the year (or your child’s life). Here are some of my ideas on how you might simplify your child’s next birthday party.

1. Decrease the number of attendees. It’s normal for a child to want to invite every student in his class or the entire neighborhood.  Perhaps larger numbers mean more fun and presents for your child, but it also equals more time, energy and chaos. Consider decreasing the amount of people you invite. Ask your child to choose 2 or 3 special friends. If your child attends school send the invites through the mail or by email to prevent hurt feelings from other classmates.
2. Decrease the duration of the party. A party doesn’t have to last the entire afternoon to be a fun. A party that lasts 2 hours is a reasonable and welcome length of time for both the host and those celebrating. 
   
3.  Forgo party favors. Yes, it has become quite popular to pass out favors at a child’s party, but it isn’t a requirement. I have never passed out favors at one of our parties, and I have yet to receive the evil eye in response to my choice. Do any of us really need extra candy or small toys in our homes? A favor-free party might just be a welcome change for you and for those attending your event.
4. Take the celebration to a free venue. There are many places that advertise and rent space for birthday celebrations, but they obviously cost money.  If you want to spend your money in other ways think about taking your celebration to a free venue. We have had a number of friends and family host parties at a local playground. We hosted a September birthday party for our oldest at a nearby beach, and everyone had a blast! A memorable birthday doesn’t have to happen at an expensive venue; so look at free options around you, and try something new.
5. Skip the party. Two of our children share a birthday month, and this year we decided to skip hosting a party for them. Instead, we made a family trip to a children’s museum and enjoyed a day of fun. We told our children that this was the plan for the year, and they were completely on board with the change. Parties can be fun, but if you are looking to try something new and give yourself and your children a break, perhaps skipping the party is a good option for you.
   I hope this post has given you some ideas to inspire your next party.  Please know that big, elaborate, expensive parties don’t have to be the norm. A simple, smaller, and meaningful event could be the birthday memory your child talks about for years to come.

What about you? How do you simplify your child’s parties?

Until next time,

Charissa